JUSTIN BIEBER IS IN HOSPITAL!
Do you want to know why?… She fell off a ladder…trying to reach puberty.
:harharhar:
My Name is Jason AKA Jase & I'm the guy.. Who let the dogs out.. also I am Twenty-Four, A Comedian, Geek, TV/ Movie Guru, blogger, designer, Founder of ThinqTek Studios.
I hope that one day I’ll be mature enough to spell extravaganza without giggling after the first 8 letters.
:chuckle:
EXCLUSIVE: Video preview of iOS 5!
Whats the difference between Rebecca Black and the Rapture?
Rebecca Black actually ruined the world.
A porno with more of a plot than all Twilight movies put into one!
In a recent interview Nicole “Snookie” Polizzi says she no longer refered to as Snookie, yeah.. Snooki says from now on she likes to be called “That Slutty Orange thing
Conan O’Brian
Joke: The Uninterested Husband..
A woman complained to her friend that her husband was losing interest in sex and preferred nights out with the guys to the joys of copulation.
Her friend told her that to win his love, she must make more effort. She advised her to cook her man a slap up meal and then send him out drinking with his friends.
When he returned she must be dressed in her naughtiest lingerie and look her most beautiful.
The following evening, she did exactly as instructed and was dressed to kill by the time her man returned.
When he saw her lying on the bed in all her finery, he told her to stand up and take it all off. He then told her to do a hand stand against the bedroom mirror and open her legs.
This excited the woman immensely as her hubby had never been this erotic before.
She did as instructed and then he put his face between her legs, faced the mirror and said, “No, no….maybe the guys are right. A beard just wouldn’t suit me at all.”
A doctor in Ireland wants to get off work and go hunting, so he approaches his assistant.
“Seamus, I am going hunting tomorrow and don’t want to close the clinic,” he says. “I want you to take care of the clinic and all me patients.”
“Yes, sir!” answers Seamus.
The doctor goes hunting, returns the following day and asks, “So, Seamus, how was your day?”
Seamus tells him that he took care of three patients. “The first one had a headache, so I gave him Tylenol.”
“Bravo, Seamus, and the second one?” asks the doctor.
“The second one had stomach burning and I gave him Maalox, sir,” says Seamus.
“Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this. And what about the third one?” asks the doctor.
“Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman bursts into the room. Quick as a wink she undresses herself, tearing off every stitch of clothing including her bra and her panties, and lies down on the table. She spreads her legs and shouts, “Help me, I beg you! It’s been five years since I’ve seen a man!”
“Holy smoke! Seamus, what did you do?” asks the doctor.
“I put drops in her eyes.”
Joke: Tarzan & Jane
When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was attracted to him,
and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex?
‘Tarzan not know sex’ he replied. Jane explained to him what sex was.
Tarzan said ‘Oh…Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree.’
Horrified Jane said, ‘Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how
to do it properly.’
She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground. ‘Here’ she said,
pointing to her privates, ‘you must put it in here.’
Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood,
stepped closer to her and kicked her in the crotch !
Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity.
Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed ‘What did you do that for?’
Tarzan replied, ‘Check for squirrel.’
